A Christmas Story

By Dennis the MacMenace

And then they died. The building simply could not survive the pressure from the gigantic monster. Chaos regimed as the mayor watched in glee. People were fleeing and fires were raging. Death and destruction were the only things people could count on. Running water wasn't even availble and it appeared that power would not be available for long as the monster headed towards the town's only nuclear power plant. Yet this was not enough chaos for the mayor. And with a mischevious grin of a 10 year old, the mayor took the opportunity to start an earthquake.

"Andy! Stop what you're doing!" heard the mayor from a distance. And so he decided that it was a good time to leave.

"Clink Clank" went the Power Macintosh 8100/80AV as Andy chose Quit from the File menu. If there was one thing Andy hated, it was being asked if he was sure he wanted to quit a program. Rather than shutting down properly, Andy simply switched the PowerMac off.

But what Andy did not know was that he was being observed by one of Santa's elves. Armed with an Apple Newton 110 Special Edition, it was CME840805B (Santa's elves decided to use code names during a union meeting in 1974 to expedite data processing) duty to monitor boy born during the week of August 5, 1984.

Ok. That's my story! :)

And now, something that is really special: A Catalog Rating! That's right. I'm gonna rate several catalogs based on their appearance on a scale of 1 to 10.

MacZone: 6

Tiger Software:3

MacWarehouse:5

MacConnection:6

ClubMac: 5

ComputerTown: 8 (They stopped using that icky paper!)

MacMall: 8

Now tell me. Have you ever seen a worse column than this? Send it to DTC@AOL.COM. 

Well... at least my column doesn't suffer from a faulty FPU that could screw up math in certain equations and the multi-threading doesn't get lost on the 90 and 100 mhz version of my column. 
===========
Dennis T. Cheung cleverly pointed out the problems of the Pentium chips in the last paragrah of this otherwise pointless column. DTC@AOL.Com